brabbel123: (Bugs Bunny)
I just finished watching episode 12 of season 1, "Faith", and I have to admit that if I hadn't already been impressed with this show, the last 4 episodes would have completely drawn me in.

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Before I'm signing off for the night, I'm going to include a quote right from that last conversation in "Faith" that in my opinion doesn't just apply in any spiritual context:

If we are going to have faith, we can't just have it when the miracles happen. We have to have it when they don't.

In a very personal and introspective journey during the last year I have learned that self worth and a strong belief in your own abilities aren't necessarily tied to others' opinions or good test results - in fact, they are kind of like having faith in yourself which nurtures you and helps you grow as a person even if the miracle of experiencing other people's approval won't happen. Without that kind of faith, however, even the support of friends and family or the best test results might prove to be a hollow reward, one day. I'm still learning to have faith, even when the miracles don't happen.
brabbel123: (Default)
At least last friday I had to experience this when I found my rabbit dead in its cage, with virtually no warning beforehand. Granted, he seemed calmer in the days before, but nothing really prepared me for this. I think I still haven't realized it quite yet. I still get up in the morning to put fresh food in his cage, I still find myself wanting to let him out to run around in the afternoon, I still startle when there's no light in the room where he used to be when he was out of his cage for the last 5 and a half years... far too short a life time for a rabbit (even if longer than his brother's...).

Perhaps it's hard to understand but it's as if an important part of my life is suddenly missing. I got my rabbits during a very difficult time in my life, they suddenly gave me back a reason to get up in the morning and not just wallow in self-pity. They required my care - and I took up the challenge and gradually got my life back on track. And later on, they were just there when I came back home, no matter what happened. Again, I don't know if anyone can really relate to this - especially people who don't have pets.

And now a new part in my life has begun. At the moment I'm still feeling empty and I'm going to miss that little rabbit for quite some time still. On the other hand, I need to consider the opportunities my no longer being required to stay in Vienna has opened up for me... not yet, though... whenever I'm ready.


brabbel123: (Default)

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